In my journeys working with my clients and with NorCal Poodle Rescue, I see way too many dogs that are fearful of men. The problem is not extensive with people who take in a new puppy but grows exponentially with rescue dogs. It is so hard for the new man to see these dogs cower from them. It’s emotionally stressful for everyone in the family pack.
It’s not easy to ask women to back off to allow the men to build a relationship with the dog but I know it helps the situation. After all if we have had experiences with something or someone that frightens us we have to build up our trust. Dogs are no different! They too need time to change how they relate to a situation that frightens them. Going slow and being patient is a great healer. Be gentle and soft with your newly rescued dog. Don’t use your big voice. Stop demanding and allow your dog to find her way to you. Lower your body by crouching rather than hovering over your dogs head. Give him a chance to spend time with you eating, playing and relaxing. As enough time goes by she will be much more open to you.
When I was a little girl my parents would tell me at the door of my grandmothers, “don’t forget to give her a kiss”. The more they said it – the more terrified I got. So when you have male visitors to your home I find it helpful to not ask the dog to connect with him. Your visitor can help by ignoring your dog and just going about their visit with you. In the beginning the less interaction – the better. The goal is to allow your dog to scent and adjust to men in her life without her going into a flight or fight mode.
Once you have bonded with your dog and gained his trust, you can start to move the process to the bigger world. Every new male will be a new situation, so having patience again is key. I have found being chipper and brisk can help a lot. Using happy talk and keeping the movement going helps. Lingering and thinking things will be different at this stage doesn’t seen to help. The key is to keep going and let your dog see – but not have time to react.